The Power and Importance of Connection
A connection is such an interesting concept in my world. It literally touches and influences every interaction in my life and existence. As is my nature, when I’m looking at the power and importance of connection, I began by looking at the definition of what a connection is. As I explored the definition that made sense in my brain, I found Webster’s to be very lacking, honestly. I found an article on psychology today that talked about how connection means feeling in touch with someone who cares about us, which seemed to be much more fitting to me.
As someone who identifies as an empath, a connection is a huge part of my life. It’s what drives my relationship with my husband. When something feels off in our relationship, when stress grows, when conflict rears its head, I always go back to our connection. In my professional experience, I believe that it is the power and importance of connection that sustains relationships. I don’t believe people fall out of love; I believe they no longer focus on the quality of their connection.
I believe we are living in a time when people have become consumed with being overworked and overstimulated. As such, many of us are constantly operating from a place of exhaustion and don’t have as much emotionally or physically to give to our intimate relationships. If or when that happens, the power and importance of connection in our relationships began to falter.
Let’s think about it for a few moments, when is the beginning of a relationship? When is a relationship started? It’s when there is a connection formed. It’s all about connection! It’s about developing rituals, it's about developing important shared meanings, it’s about developing a solid foundation for a lasting and healthy relationship. But as life becomes busy, and people grow and evolve, historically people stop focusing on their connection. One time it even happened in the middle of a beautiful vacation spot!
My husband was not very sensitive to energy, so he would rarely notice or sense our connection. However, on that particular occasion, while on vacation, he woke up from a nap and came into the bathroom and had a very serious conversation with me. He told me he sensed our connection had begun waning months ago as my stress level had grown. While he knew it would pass, he wanted to find a solution to it. What concerned me wasn’t the reality of it, because I had been aware of it for a long time, but that he had become aware of it. That was honestly more terrifying for me. I set out to really dig deep into the power and importance of connection!
Therefore, the question then becomes, how do you heal a connection that has become so deeply tarnished? I have no doubt that it’s possible to heal and really re-establish the power and importance of connection.
Here are some of my recommendations to strengthen or re-establish your connection.
Dance together: Even something as simple as taking three minutes and dancing in your living room can help you to reconnect with your partner. When you are looking at the power and importance of connection, I would recommend a specific or ritualistic song. Maybe a song that has meaning or is important to your relationship.
Go For A Walk Or Take A Long Drive: For years, therapists have talked about how when people are side by side a certain level of transparency and magic happens. Walking or riding alongside your partner allows a certain amount of safety, transparency, and communication, as well as the power and importance of connection, occurs. It’s almost as if the weight and stress of the world are lifted, and you are transported into a safe space that allows you to reconnect.
Establish A No Technology Time: Recommendations on this one vary. However, the gist of it is to establish a certain amount of time that is technology-free time. Whether it is a day, a date, an event, or a period, etc. The mentality behind it is really aimed to be inclusive of the mentality that in order to focus on enhancing your connection you need to pause the technology. It also helps your partner to feel super validated when you have set aside technology for them.
Clean The House Together, Naked: When we are really and truly examining the power and importance of connection nothing really solidifies that as much as cleaning the house together, naked! The thought process behind it is it makes it fun, exciting, and you can’t help but laugh and enjoy it. It also feels a bit silly while doing the house cleaning.
Send Random ‘Thinking Of You’ Texts: Again, it’s important to keep in mind that the real power comes from focusing on your connection. The more you send the texts the more you activate the connection. With each text, you send you are activating your connection. The power and importance of connection happen with repetition and intention.
Pack Your Partner A Lunch For The Next Day: When your partner has to work the next day, one of those kind and loving things you can do is to pack them lunch the night before. And for added measure, put a little love note in with their lunch. It’s less about the actual lunch and more about the thoughts and effort of doing something positive and proactive for your partner. It doesn’t even have to be lunch. Maybe for you, it’s having your partner’s cup of coffee made for them in the morning.
Cook A Meal Together: This is such a big piece of the power and importance of connection. Cooking and eating food are such bonding acts between people. Doing such activities with your partner just becomes that much more powerful and that much more bonding. Whether it’s the preparation, the cooking, the consuming or the cleaning, the entire process can be very connecting for many couples.
Talk To Your Partner About What You Are Grateful for, In Your Relationship And For Each Other: Many of you already know this is a favorite of mine. I’m a huge fan of gratitude. Telling your partner why you are grateful for them can be a huge mindset shift. One of the things that my husband and I do on a regular basis is to go over five things we are each grateful for, we commonly do this at bedtime. It’s something that shapes our mindset and helps us to stay focused on the positive.
Engage In A Consistent Date Night: For some people doing a date night every week is their preferred method, other people do a date night every other week, while others still prefer to do the date night thing once a month. I don’t necessarily have an opinion on how you set up your date night. But I do have an opinion on you doing it. Which is that you would be better served by doing a date night often. When you commit to doing a date night it’s easier to stick to it and harder to make excuses and disengage. The power and importance of connection begin with consistent date nights.
Communicate In Your Partner’s Love Language: Identifying what your partner’s love language is and communicating with them in THAT language. It is a huge piece of the power and importance of connection. Most people communicate with others in their own love language. Communicating with another human in their love language allows them to feel loved, seen, heard, and validated. When we are looking to heal a connection that’s a huge piece of the healing puzzle.
No matter what you do, we hope this blog inspires you to begin looking at the connections in your life. In our experiences, we suspect it’s normal for connections to waver. We think some people just naturally put more energy and intensity into their connections than others do. That doesn’t mean you have to end the relationships or walk away from them; it may mean you need to adjust how you get your needs met.
We also want to point out that every relationship boils down to connection. It’s about the connection you have with yourself, the connection you have with your children, the connection you have with you work friends, the connection you have with your significant other, the connection you have with you gaming friends, the connection you have with your dad’s group, the connection you have with you running group, the connection you have with you ladies group, and the connection you have with your BFF. In our experience it always comes back to the connection.
If your relationships are starting to falter and you feel like you need some guidance, have a look at our providers, here https://www.thementalwellnesscenter.com/providers and feel free to set up an appointment. Give us a call or email us today.