5 Ways To Improve Self-Worth
By Jenn Bovee, LCSW, CRADC, CCHt
EMDR Trained
Every day we work with people who have self-worth and self-esteem issues. These issues present in a variety of ways. Signs and symptoms of low self-worth include: finding yourself apologizing frequently, an inability or struggle to make decisions, you live with a semi-consistent sense of shame, frequently you accept blame and responsibility that logically you know are not yours, you take criticism personally, you struggle to stand up for yourself, you struggle to accept genuine compliments, and you struggle in social circumstances. Clearly this is not an exhaustive list. But if you find yourself relating to any or all of the symptoms listed please keep reading.
In this blog we are going to cover more than just the traditional see your value, do affirmations type of suggestions. We really want to teach you how to change your perception of yourself. We have gathered our top 5 ways to improve your self- worth. Please feel free to apply those suggestions which you immediately want to implement and wait to apply those that don’t strike you with urgency.
Do Positive Things: Many years ago, I was taught to do something kind anonymously for another person each and every day. It became a bit addictive, because my ability to lie has massively diminished. Therefore the first two times someone asks me if I did something I say no. And after that I give in. Which is an amazing opportunity, because then I get to do the whole thing over for someone different until I don’t get caught. Many years ago, I worked in a place where this was the norm. I still remember some of the things I did that no one ever knew was me. To this day it makes me smile.
Get dressed Up: Recently I had surgery and I was suffering from post anesthesia induced depression. I committed to myself that I was going to wear a dress every day until I felt better. Suddenly I was straightening my hair every morning and putting my jewelry on. Please don’t misunderstand me, perhaps dressing up for you is a nice pair of jeans and a shirt. That’s great! There’s no dress code. The reality is, when you dedicate some time and space to treating yourself well, your worthiness soars.
Act Positive: This one feels relatively benign in the beginning. Smile when you see someone walking towards you, open a door for another person, allow another car to cut in front of you, and generally act with kindness towards other people. The key to keep in mind is that action is actually important in developing our self confidence. We talk about thinking positive all day long to our clients. But the rubber meets the road when we talk about putting it into action.
Focus On Solutions: One of my favorite sayings is, “Is there anything you can do about this right here right now?”. If the answer is no, then it’s a matter of accepting the issue for what it is and what it entails. But if there is anything you can do, go back and take some actions. Often times things are not as simple and as black and white as this though. I recommend clients spend time minutes just brain dumping and just let all of the possible solutions flow out into the paper. They don’t even have to be realistic or good options. Just putting the options down on paper can lead you to the best solution for you.
Develop a Gratitude Routine: Some of you are probably already sick of hearing me talk about gratitude. But really it’s a game changer. I’m not talking about setting a clock and seeing how many things you can create that you are grateful for in under ten minutes (my personal best was 58). I’m talking about deep and intentional gratitude. Clinical research shows that focusing on just three things that you are grateful for everyday for three weeks can substantially improve the quality of your life. A great format to begin with is writing down the following format: I am grate for ______________________ because ___________________. Give it a shot and let us know how this helps.
No matter which of these techniques you decide to implement please remember there is help out there, you are worthy of that help, and you are not alone. To learn more about our therapists please check them out here: https://www.thementalwellnesscenter.com/providers
