Rituals For Healing At The New Year
Between November and December, the subtle marketing for New Years' Resolutions starts picking up. It can’t just be my group of people who notices this, right, the rest of the world is aware of these tactics too? I had lost track if it was a week or two before Thanksgiving if some of the gyms near me began running their “get in shape quick” routines. Every year as we approach another new January 1st, it almost feels like the need to develop a ‘resolution’ is a personal assault on our personhood.
On the off chance that you, like me, long to be a rebel and not give in to the dreadful shame-based resolution language of old times, this blog is for you. Let me be clear about why I don’t believe in resolutions. In 2022 a study showed that of the 41% of people who made resolutions, only 9% were successful in keeping them. Frankly, that’s not good odds to me. Some of the reasons resolutions typically don’t work include poor language when developing the resolution, unrealistic expectations, lack of effective accountability, no way to track the goal or progress, no way to review or edit the goal, lack of thorough planning, self-doubt, confusion, and not having a good understanding of your driving force.
Many people prefer to spend time with a bunch of people on New Years' eve, stay up as late as possible, and cram as much into the night as possible. Over the last few years, I have heard of more people whose priorities have somehow morphed, and I love how they are spending their New Years' Eve because it sets the tone for the rest of the year. It’s all about them!
Every day we all engage in various levels of rituals. Rituals can be defined as an act or series of acts regularly repeated in a set precise manner.
Given that definition, we all engage in rituals in various ways daily. We have rituals surrounding our sleep, our relationships, our hygiene, our eating habits, our downtime, and even our showering and beauty habits based on rituals. Below are some rituals that have benefitted my clients as they prepare for a year that allows them to start the year calmly, centered, and groundedly. Some of the rituals that the clients I have worked with have found beneficial include the list below. Don’t feel pressured to apply all of them, just put into practice what feels right and disregard the rest.
Declutter: As we enter a new year, it’s the perfect time to declutter and purge. Whether it’s cleaning out old clothes that no longer fit, getting rid of old mail, organizing junk drawers, getting rid of broken things, discarding old things, clear out the junk. There is a high correlation between clutter and stress and clutter and sleep. Check-in with your body after you de-clutter and see what shifts.
Letting Go: If you harbor resentment, guilt, shame, frustration, etc., against someone else or yourself, this is a perfect time to let it all go. One way that many of my clients find beneficial is to utilize journaling to let these feelings go. Please remain mindful that your letting it go has nothing to do with the other person but everything to do with you. Essentially letting things go, allows you to make space for welcoming in the things you want to focus on in the new year.
Take An Inventory: Most successful endeavors are built on constantly evaluating where they need to grow and their successes. One of the things I love engaging in every New Year is taking an accurate inventory. Things I evaluate in this inventory include what went well, what I would change, where I soared, where I needed to ask for help, where I needed to rest more, what I have to be grateful for truly, and what I want to accomplish this coming year.
Create Sustainable Habits: When looking at what you want to implement as behavioral changes or habits for the upcoming year, it’s crucial to develop habits or behaviors that are sustainable. An example always comes to mind is when someone decides to join a gym. Initially, they decided to work out every single day of the week. However, expecting a person to be able to work out or do anything every day of the week often sets them up for failure. Humans get sick, run late, have outside obligations, etc. There will just be days and times when you simply can not engage in working out or whatever goal you’ve set for yourself. A way to set yourself up for success is to commit to doing whatever your goal is three times a week. If you are an overachiever and achieve the goal 7 days a week, that’s a cause for celebration. But three days allows you plenty of opportunity to work on balance.
Visual Reminders: When working on setting new goals, habits, or even just new activities that you want to embrace, make sure that you have visual representations around you. Put notes of encouragement for yourself, positive affirmations, and rewards for when you achieve your goals, and, most of all, find ways to track your goals visually. For added benefit, visualize, imagine, and pretend you have already accomplished your goal. Spend a few minutes every night as you get ready to sleep, seeing yourself having already accomplished your goals.
The most important thing to remember is to permit yourself to find a way that works for you. Don’t get caught up in right or wrong or allow your mind to drift into what works for anyone else. Eliminate judgment from your mind and fill it with compassion for yourself to allow yourself to create what you desire.
As you move into this next year, if you notice that your struggles are less than what you wish they were, feel free to reach out to us at The Mental Wellness Center Inc to set up an appointment. You can either call us at 309-807-5077 or email us at Info@TheMentalWellnessCenter.com to schedule an appointment.
Check out our providers here: https://www.thementalwellnesscenter.com/providers
