Executive function, what is it and how to help your kids practice and improve these skills
One of the most frequent statements that we hear from parents during intake is that their kiddo isn’t completing a task that is considered “age appropriate” or a “basic skill”. Some examples include forgetting to brush their teeth, being unable to clean their rooms, constantly forgetting or not being able to manage their time. The statement of “but they are X years old, they should be able to…” is a quick indication that this client may be struggling with executive function deficits.
All people have executive function, which are described as a range of cognitive, behavioral and emotional difficulties or abilities. Each of us has our strengths and weaknesses in these areas. For example, some people are incredibly organized and punctual, others are laid back and flexible, and some are able to easily manage their emotions. Very few people, if any, are masters at all of these areas! Now consider a developing brain that has experienced trauma, is neurodivergent, or has high levels of anxiety or depression. It is likely that they may struggle in more areas than a typically developing brain.
What is included in “Executive Function”?
Executive Function is made up of 8 areas: Self Control, Self Monitoring, Flexibility, Task Initiation, Working Memory/Attention, Emotional Control, Planning & Time Management, and Organization. Trouble with these areas can negatively impact daily functioning and life satisfaction.
What can you do to help improve your child’s Executive Function skills?
Complete an assessment, either at home using Smart but Scattered or with your mental health provider. Use resources such as understood.org or additudemag.com to build your knowledge about Executive Function.
Identifying the weaknesses gives you one or two areas to focus on at a time. Sometimes, we try to look at the big picture and it is too overwhelming. If the goal is to help your child respond differently to changes in their schedule or routine (flexibility), then learning skills such as using calendars and increasing communication about plans can become incredibly helpful.
Meet the child where they are - this goes for adults, too! Do they forget the steps to get their teeth brushed? Write it on a post-it note and stick it on their mirror in the bathroom (working memory/attention). Cleaning their room too much? Break it down by asking them to do a specific task, such as picking their clothes up off of the floor (task initiation).
Get school involved. Perhaps your child is struggling with creative writing (planning), or loses track of items throughout the school day (organization). If Executive Function is impacting your childs academic success, it may be a good time to talk to school about implementing some strategies in the classroom to increase their functioning.
Consider therapy. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the task at hand, call for reinforcements. Working with a therapist will help you to narrow down targets, build behavior modification and reward systems, increase communication to decrease conflict, and help raise self awareness. While many children struggle with these areas, it isn’t uncommon for adults to experience some of the same struggles. Therapy can help adults to recognize their deficits and build the skills and strategies to improve their overall functioning.
It’s important to keep in mind that these are skills, which means that they can be learned. Learning isn’t a race, if the child hasn’t learned the skill, then just focus on it for a little bit until they have. Once you’ve crossed that one off of the list, move on to the next. I encourage families to consider the things that they have been fighting about the most and start with that one or the areas that are causing their child the most stress.
